Happy Slappin' Retarded Gorillas

Come on folks. What the hell is going on in this country? We have teenage boys wandering up to random strangers, thumping them over the head and filming it on their mobile phones for a laugh.

Meanwhile we have Bliar banging on about respect and backing a hoodie ban. Yep... well done Tony, that'll fix the problem. I bow at the feet of your superior wisdom.

Bemoaning a lack of respect in todays youth is as futile as bitching about why England have never managed to recapture their glory days of 1966.

I sat goggle eyed watching Tonight with Trevor McDonald last night. Teenage boys with the language skills of a retarded gorilla telling us all that we should lighten up. "Surely we can see it is funny" we were told. Funny! Of course, now I see what I have been missing all of these years. Of course assault is nothing more than a good laugh. Victims are just too uptight. Next we'll be told that rape is "just a laugh" and that women should get over themselves.

So apart from more New Labour rhetoric, what is Tony going to do?

More ASBO's? Badge of Honour. They only move the problem somewhere else. Nice short term solution and very popular with the victims of the retarded gorillas.

Support Groups? I'm sure they do a sterling and much needed job given how crap their funding is, but the idea of giving the retarded gorillas support doesn't sit well with me at all. The victims are the ones who should be getting the support. These little shits are way past the stage of support.

Moan about parental responsibility? Fair cop. Parents do need to be more responsible. I have three great kids, but if any one of them happy slapped somebody, I would personally march them down to the police station and make sure they were booked (and they know I would). Can the government legislate to make parents more responsible? Of course not. They have tried that already by threatening to lock up the parents of persistent truants.

OK, so the message a retarded gorilla gets is: Do what I do and I'll get moved on somewhere else. Do what I do and I'll get a support group. Do what I do and my parents will get fined/banged up.

What is wrong with this picture? The message should be: Do what I do and I'll get banged up.

Before you start bleating on about prison being an Academy of Crime, I wouldn't send them to prison. Prison is pointless for the retarded gorilla. Boot Camp. That's the answer. These little pricks need a taste of their own medicine.

Think that is too harsh?

Tell me that when a retarded gorilla gives you a perforated ear drum and tells you to lighten up, it's funny, innit (only you won't be able to hear them).

Tell me that when a retarded gorilla hits you over the head with a traffic cone, knocking you out cold.

Tell me that when a retarded gorilla sets you on fire almost killing you. All in the name of a good laugh.

Before the election, there was a lot of talk about drink fuelled random acts of violence caused by the binge drinking culture.

Happy slapping is much more frightening. A whole different level of frightening. These retarded gorillas don't need to be pissed to assault somebody, its all in the name of fun.

What the hell are they going to be like when they reach drinking age?

How long before somebody gets killed as a result of this "craze"?

Oh, and if you find the "retarded gorilla" term too derogatory for your liking then read this from the Gruaniad:

In a comment recently posted on a London community web forum, "Happyslapper2" described the craze as a "joke", writing: "If you feel bored wen ur about an u got a video phone den bitch slap sum norman, innit."

Wanker.